a day in the life

Thursday, July 05, 2007

a day in the life My mother once expressed interest in seeing where I work and what I do on a typical day. I said "you should come visit me sometime." She replied with an "ehhhh." i guess laziness is hereditary because I would have answered in the exact same fashion. "Alright then, I’ll take some pictures and save you a trip," said the good daughter. so I’ve been snap snapping here and there, and I got to thinking. "wouldn’t it be grand to write a picture blog entry regarding a day in the life of me?! I mean, everyone would appreciate that, right? Cause I’m so fucking interesting!" …well, interesting or not, a day in the life of shelly is what I’m posting. Read on friends, read on. so, as I’ve already spent a number of entries focused on the metro aspect of my day, I’ll skip ahead to the point where park my rump in a chair for 7.5 hours. .... .. .. Here is my desk. .... Notice how the coffee machine is directly in front of my desk. And I’m supposed to curb my coffee intake HOW…? Resisting temptation has never been my style, especially when it’s literally starring me in the face, taunting me. Well, hey, at least it’s not crack, ’cause if my crack intake was as plentiful as my coffee intake (note the hugeness of my coffee cup), well folks, I’d be dead. And yes, that is a straw in my coffee cup. That’s how I do. As for the framed picture on the right… one of my minions, adam, gave that to me. He found it while roaming our new "shining-esque" office building. Seriously, this isolated building has a serious creep factor going on. Doors open and close, with purpose! And the halls make me feel like I should be on a Big Wheels tricycle. Our department is the first one to move into this ghost town so everything left behind is up for grabs, including this disturbing photograph. It’s unsettling. Maybe it’s the way this unattractive couple is wearing matching turtlenecks. Are we all destined to be corny middle-aged pairs awkwardly posing in corporation-spirited attire so that we may have a little something to clutter our humdrum desks in our humdrum day jobs. Everyone in the office now thinks these are my parents. I don’t correct them. I named them – marsha and todd. This is adam, my minion. .... ....He knows I call him that but he doesn’t mind. adam once told me that he showed his mom my myspace page and my default picture was the one where I’m grabbing tits. He said, "that’s my boss." I’m such a professional. ....Yup..... ....I’m pretty much the handy gal around here. Have I mentioned yet how much I enjoy power tools? They make me feel bigger than I really am and, for a petite person such as myself, feeling big is radical. So today I had to go on another furniture hunt. As mentioned above, everything that was left behind by the old occupants is up for grabs, including all their nifty furniture. This is how I acquired my desk. BUT the problem is that all the furniture has been jammed into small rooms. This is one such room..... ....In order to see all that the room has to offer, you must climb over tipped over desks that are piled one on top of the other. Now comes the fun. Never mind my office appropriate skirt, it’s time to climb. (Yes, I brought my camera). .... Just so you know, this is a "real" face of alarm. I put the self-timer on and just as it went off, the unit I was sitting on began to violently titter. This is me actually trying not to fall and kill myself. I’m so in action! But motivated to continue nonetheless. Save the jitters for the quitters. Perched atop a wall cabinet, I spotted what I was looking for in the back corner of the room. .... Of course, it was in the hardest most innermost spot to reach so I had to remove everything from the crammed room just to get at this small drawer unit. After much struggle, success was mine. .... ...Isn’t it pretty. Oh yeah, while I was surveying the other rooms, I found this tacked to the wall and was thoroughly amused. In case you were wondering, don’t put a plastic bag over baby’s head. But enough about me, how was your day? ....