Beat the shit out of it

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Beat the shit out of it Current mood: accomplished no, i'm not talking about masturbating. silly. i'm talking about your ipod. for all you out there who have experienced the heartbreak that is brought on by the smirking frown (is that possible?) of the sad ipod face, take heed of the following antedote. i hate the ipod. it is a fancy piece of shit that was made to break down. but since experiencing the thrill of endless entertainment for so long, i can no longer sustain sanity without pod in pocket. god forbid i am ever bored or alone with my thoughts. the horror! i've had a fourth generation ipod for 2 years, 2 months, and 18 days. i've seen the dreaded sad ipod face 3 times. for those of you who have never witnessed the sad ipod face, let me explain the implications of this frowny beast - you're fucked. the first time i saw it, my pod still had 5 days left on warrenty (note - that means it didn't even last one year before complete failure....errrrrr!) oh, and by the way, i treat the god damn thing like a fucking baby bird so screw you apple guy at the genuis (asshole) bar for implying that i'm a bad pod mommy. anywho, as it was still on warrenty, i was simply handed a new pod, no fuss no muss. one year, one month later - i see the fucking frown again. this time, i am no longer under warrenty (yes, i did buy the apple care warrenty for another year only to miss the window by a month... it's a cruel world). fortunately for me, instead of the guy at the bar saying "tough luck" as i assumed he would, he went in the back and came out again with a magically repaired pod. how did he do it? i didn't know, i didn't care. my baby had returned to me. now, just yesterday, i see it again and this time no magic, no mystery, no dice. instead i am informed that i can get 10% off a new ipod if i turn in the dead one. fuck that. no way am i buying another one of these things so that i can deal with this bullshit in another year's time. still refusing to come to terms with my loss, i hit the internet and browsed every nerd forum i could find. apparently, the sad ipod face occurs, not only when the battery's life runs out (as i had been told at the asshole bar), but also when there is a loose hard drive cable - a problem that can be easily fixed by banging the shit out of your ipod. with nothing to lose and a need to unleash the wrath of shelly on crap technology, i beat the thing until it came back to life. that's right, it actually worked. apparantly, the banging jarred the loose hard drive cable into place. of course, it probably would be better to open up the case and gently reset them cables but if you're anything like me - lacking tools, patience, and sanity, i suggest the aforementioned path. i think thats what the genius at the bar ended up doing the second time around when he went in the back. so save yourself a trip. besides, being totally fed up with this apple monopoly, i thoroughly enjoyed letting off some steam on my ever-disappointing piece of poop. its the most fulfilling thing i've done in quite some time. when this technique stops working though, i'm switching to the creative zen. fuck ipod. or maybe zune. we'll see.